Projection: Many times we find that although we say the right thing to others, it has no effect on them. We, then, begin to blame them and feel that they are not listening to us. But the words spoken with such an attitude do not have any effect on others.
Solution: When we speak to others esp. in a delicate situation we need to make sure that our words are filled with love. When we talk with love, our words will be filled with sweetness and we naturally speak only to the extent necessary. Then whatever we say will have its effect on others.
Overcoming The Loss/Separation Of A Loved One (cont.)
In mourning, regret or remorse may emerge. Let's look at some feelings that are born in relation to these questions:
* Did I do everything I should have?
* Could I have avoided it?
* Did I tell them everything I had to tell them?
* Did I give them everything that they needed?
* Was I there when they needed me?
These questions converge into a feeling where sometimes one feels responsible for the death of the other. It is a mourning difficult to overcome. What is required is an inner control that does not allow these questions and their answers to go on for a long time. If we don't achieve this capacity we fall into a regret for what might have been and was not, and the present escapes before our very eyes.
Mourning in relation to the separation from someone with whom you have shared moments of beauty and wholeness, of love, requires an effort of peaceful acceptance. Not to remain trapped in feelings of guilt, bitterness or hate, given that these feelings take us in a past that is no longer alive except in our consciousness, because we don't allow it to die. The images and memories of experiences of the past emerge again and again onto the screen of the mind, causing different kinds of feelings that range from sadness to frustration.
Tomorrow we shall explain some simple ways to get over the loss of a loved one.
In Spiritual Service,
Brahma Kumaris
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